TEDDY PARADE BALLOON
S / Hydrangea
$35.00
Sale price
$35.00
Regular price
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TEDDY PARADE BALLOON
$35.00
Sale price
$35.00
Regular price
The mustache translated beautifully. Teddy at full parade-balloon scale is exactly as intimidating as it sounds, which is to say enormously and with an unexpected dignity. He rode the wind above Fifth Avenue and looked like he was having a genuinely good time, which feels very on brand.
ABOUT THIS T-SHIRT
Classic Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight
100% ring-spun US cotton for crisp print clarity on wicked graphics.
- Relaxed Fit: Easygoing cut with reinforced shoulder-to-shoulder twill tape so it won't rip during dramatic villain monologue gestures.
- Zero Shrinkage: Garment-dyed and pre-shrunk, because the only thing shrinking around here should be your enemies.
CARING FOR YOUR T-SHIRT
- Machine Wash Cold: Wash with like-minded colors. Keep water cold—heat is for laser beams, not your laundry.
- Tumble Dry Low: Low heat only, or hang dry.
- Do Not Iron Printed Graphic: Ironing directly on the print will ruin the graphic. Iron inside-out if you must look presentable for your arch-nemesis.
- Do Not Bleach: Leave the bleaching to the hero's backstory.
SIZE GUIDE
- Relaxed Fit: Cut with extra breathing room for dramatic gesticulation, posture-impaired hunching over workbench blueprints, and general scheming.
- Standard Sizing: Fits true to size. If you prefer an oversized, "mysterious hooded figure" silhouette, order one size up.
- Pre-Shrunk: Garment-dyed so it won't mysteriously shrink down to minion size in the wash.
SHIPPING & RETURNS
- Processing Time: Orders take 3–5 business days to hatch, print, and process before dispatch.
- Transit Time: Once dispatched, expect 3–5 business days for delivery to your lair.
- Free Shipping Threshold: All orders over $85 automatically qualify for free shipping.
- Hassle-Free Returns: If your gear arrives damaged, defective, or intercepted by hero forces, reach out within 30 days of delivery for a replacement or full refund. Items must be unworn and unwashed.